ARCHIVE

August, 2016

Diary entry: August 1, 2016 – A dream to remember

It happened in March 2016. I was researching history subjects that were supposed to bring me answers. I used to feel like I lacked identity and I wanted to get closer to my roots. As I grew up I always heard people complaining about my country and bashing this kind...
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Diary entry: August 8, 2016 – Satisfying my needs

It’s been half a year since I understood that I must jump off this ship. I’m not happy in the place that I am right now. I don’t want to be an engineer any more but I am afraid. I have an idea about what happiness should be but I don’t know how to get there. I spent...
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Diary entry: August 10, 2016 – The Story of Describe

Work as usual. My plan is to stay in this job until the end of September. From the 13th of August, I will be on a vacation until the end of the month. After that, I will work another month just to get some bucks and I'm out. The most fun thing that happened lately at...
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Diary entry: August 12, 2016 – I refuse to die

I told a friend about how I feel lately and about the list of needs I made. To top it off, I also told him that I plan on quitting my job. I can’t fulfill myself and also spend time doing something that I do not enjoy. These things don’t mix well together. He looked...
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Diary entry: August 14, 2016 – Vacation days

My vacation started. I talked with my friends and none wanted to come with me. Either they didn’t have the time, the disposition or the money, so I just left alone. I won’t let anything stop me from having a great time. My destination was the seaside. I got here last...
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Diary entry: August 15, 2016 – Alone but not quite so

Yesterday I got the brilliant idea to place my tent directly on the beach. It’s the coolest thing to wake up and have your feet in the sand the first thing in the morning. Around 30 meters in the back is a guy with a stove cooking fresh seafood. Over to my right, I...
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Diary entry: August 16, 2016 – Naked

I woke up at 07:30 AM. I walked on the beach thinking about last night. Again, I met a lot of people. One of them is a Romanian painter that left for England and didn’t come back for 15 years. The country looked different when he decided to depart. At that time our...
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Diary entry: August 18, 2016 – Lore

Last night something marvelous happened. After a few drinks, I began walking on the beach as usual. I was listening to the call of the music and I ended up talking to a girl, or just dancing with her in a very expressive manner. We were touching hands and throwing...
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Diary entry: August 22, 2016 – The people I want

I spent the last couple of days with Lore. We are inseparable. For all the time I was alone I felt amazing, but now I have a “sidekick” that thinks the same as I do. We share a lot of thoughts and whatever idea I have or she has, it’s interesting to follow. I can be...
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Diary entry: August 23, 2016 – Goodbye

Today I got back from the seaside. It feels like I transitioned from Narnia to the “real” world. Hurray! A guy with long curly hair discolored by the sun, tanned, wearing shorts and with sand in his shoes, got reunited with the city. I said my farewell to Lore by...
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September, 2016

Diary entry: September 1, 2016 – Mother gave me

To pay life’s price I had to suffer and take responsibility for it. To obtain anything you must pay a price. Nature has a funny way of working. When it gave me pain I was privileged. Like a Mother, she was spanking her undisciplined child's rear. She always wanted me...
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Diary entry: September 22, 2016 – Focus

Today my father woke me up at 7:00 AM. I was feeling tired but I had to go to work. I started my day with a cold shower. The feeling of pain the chilling water causes puts me in a warrior state of mind. It prepares me for all the shit I have to take during the day....
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Diary entry: September 23, 2016 – The shadows of education

Today I made one important move towards fulfilling my plan. While working as an engineer, I am also trying to graduate my master’s degree. Or I wanted to do so until today. I took action towards putting an end to one of the things I do not like. As for today, I...
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Diary entry: September 25, 2016 – My dream place

Today I woke up early. I think it was 6:00 AM. It’s a Sunday but I don’t like to sleep too much and miss out on a lot of daylight. I am at my grandparent’s house. Yesterday we had a family reunion. This is the main reason I am here. The second one is a part of...
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Diary entry: September 27, 2016 – Everybody wants me to win

Today one of the coworkers read my employment contract that was on my desk. I forgot it there after I signed the renewed version. It never crossed my mind that somebody will sneak up on it. He saw how much money I earn and even though it’s not a lot, he went to my...
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October, 2016

Diary entry: October 3, 2016 – The hobo rapist

I woke up at 06:30 AM with the need to take a walk. It’s cold and misty outside so I put some warm clothes on and I took off to the park.  My apartment is located next to a place that resembles a small forest. This is a safe haven whenever I want to take a break from...
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Diary entry: October 7, 2016 – A zombie no more

A week ago I took action towards completing the second step of my plan. I forwarded my resignation. My boss was not happy but he could see it in my eyes that I have no intention of working at this job anymore. He didn't put up much of a fight. Today was my last day of...
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Diary entry: October 8, 2016 – Born an original

After I quit my job I understood that I have to take my path seriously now. I will not punish myself for it but I have to really focus on my new objective. My new journey started with that dream I had months ago and with the new feelings it revealed inside of me....
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Diary entry: October 10, 2016 – Rehab

These days I spent my entire time thinking about how I want to continue my journey. I had to take into consideration the fact that I am unemployed and I have little money left. My entire bank account estimates at somewhere around 1500 dollars. If I want to save as...
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Diary entry: October 12, 2016 – Life is simple

I got adapted to this new way of living pretty fast. I enjoy being a “peasant” more than I thought. The first objective was to assure that I have everything I need to function properly. My grandparents have a pump in their yard but since I want to live as healthiest...
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Diary entry: October 13, 2016 – Fresh air, breakfast and work

“Find yourself, embrace yourself, and then find others”, the secret to being a human. I woke up with this message in my head. All I want is to be a human being again. Today’s theme song is “Of monsters and men – Human”. After doing a little bit of work, the sun got up...
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Diary entry: October 14, 2016 – Goodbye old friend

Last day’s revelation made me wake up with a craving to shave off my hair. My body is ready for it now. I’ve been afraid of this moment. Possibly this is one of the reasons I want to do it. I want to face a fear. I had long hair for two years now and it’s kind of hard...
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Diary entry: October 16, 2016 – Loneliness of the mind

This is the moment I knew would come. My grandfather told me that he does not know how well I did to leave work and pause my studies. He told me that he and the family are concerned. They are right. All my decisions came out of the blue. They are right to be...
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Diary entry: October 20, 2016 – Can you see what I see?

I woke up at 5:00 AM. I had a dream in which I was with a friend of mine that I know from childhood. In this dream, the sky was a clear blue dotted about with dense clouds. The sun was shining so bright that it looked like it was closer to earth. I was staring...
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Diary entry: October 22, 2016 – Don’t hide yourself

Today, some incidents led me to a conclusion. There is nothing more important than sharing the love. Share it with people in general, but most importantly with the people that mean something. You see, I used to hide the reasons why I retired to my grandparents. I...
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Diary entry: October 31, 2016 – A story in a cup of tea

Today I woke up at 6:00 AM. I got into the habit of stretching as soon as I’m on my feet. I must get that blood flowing and also tell the body to get back to functioning. When you stretch you begin to produce hormones that are essential for your well-being. Drinking...
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November, 2016

Diary entry: Novermber 1, 2016 – Grow walnuts, grow!

Today was a beautiful day! I woke up early, I did some exercises and I ate something to be ready for the long day ahead of me. I went to my forester friend who has walnut saplings for sale. I bought 42 from him and continued my preparations. I packed the car with all...
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Diary entry: November 6, 2016 – Boring habits make my personality

I woke up before the sun was up. I created this habit for myself because it allows me to get things done. There were times when I used to sleep in a lot and wake up at 12 or maybe 2 PM. As I did this, I always felt like there is nothing fruitful to be done anymore....
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Diary entry: November 8, 2016 – How to make a blog

Today I began to research on how to make a blog. Until this point, I only preoccupied myself with writing. I figured I’ll first have to build a compelling story that I’ll believe in, and after that, I wanted to deal with the technical issues. I kept writing and...
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Diary entry: November 11, 2016 – The philosophy of making a blog

These couple of days I was in a state of frustration. My searches on how to create a blog are still getting me nowhere. I have a few ideas concerning what I have to do, but I am confused. Yesterday I got into a Word Press tutorial on how to improve upon the design. I...
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Diary entry: November 12, 2016 – The purpose of life

The last couple of days and my attempt to build a blog has brought up an important life philosophy. I understand now that everything in life should be simple, but we, by choice, make it hard. This stirred up in my mind the importance of a life purpose and how...
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Diary entry: November 13, 2016 – Home

I just listened to a song that moved me deeply. Its name is “Home” by Gabrielle Aplin. When I first heard it I put my head in my palms and frantically began to rub it. A tear fell and got sucked into the piece of paper that is in front of me. The ink I used got...
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Diary entry: November 15, 2016 – How I became wealthy

I think these last couple of days the clouds were mourning for some reason. It just rained non-stop. Today I finally got the chance to see the sun again so I took my bike and went on for a ride. I wanted to go and check on the walnuts I planted a couple of weeks ago....
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Diary entry: November 18, 2016 – How I meditate

Today I took my time to tend to the vegetable garden. Late autumn came and took all the plants away but the soil must be taken care of. For it to replenish with nutrients you must dig it up in order to facilitate the rain water and snow drainage. I grabbed my spade...
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December, 2016

Diary entry: December 1, 2016 – Honesty

Today I gave up my car. It's been breaking down and I need spare parts to fix it. This drains the little money I have left. I can't afford a car anymore. I called my father and told him that I want to give it to him. He can do whatever he pleases with it. Sell it,...
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Diary entry: December 11, 2016 – The master chemist

A certain subject won’t let me sleep at night lately. As soon as I wake up I begin researching and I go to sleep after hours and hours of doing so. The thing with me is that anytime something gets me, I become obsessed with it. It’s good to see that I am passionate...
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Diary entry: December 15, 2016 – I define my life

I used to be angry at the world. I blamed everybody and everything for my misery. In a sense, I was right to do so. In my head, I had no clear definition of anything. I was uneducated on the subject of life, and this made me a person that could be easily manipulated....
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Diary entry: December 20, 2016 – Getting out of hell

This world is filled with enough cowards that don’t take responsibility for their own actions. Even people that claim to love you, even your close ones, will put their blame on you the first chance they get. This happens because none of them took hold of their own...
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